People often have trouble moving on quickly after someone says something to them that they find offensive, hurtful, or insulting.
This is because it often triggers a feeling of insecurity. When we think we are not good enough or feel like we aren’t, it can lead to sadness, anger, frustration, etc.
When I was a child, I had trouble regulating my emotions after someone insulted me. I wish I knew then how to let insults roll off my back, but I am learning now, and I want to share this helpful information with you.
Hopefully, these strategies will help kids and adults learn that they someone else’s words don’t have to ruin their day.
Disclaimer: If you are being regularly harassed, humiliated, or insulted by someone, the focus should be to get yourself (or your child) out of that situation and report it if necessary.
Six Strategies to Get Over an Insult Quickly:
1. Notice how your body feels and observe your emotions objectively.
Is your heart is beating fast, if there is a knot in your stomach, etc.?
Observe your emotions like an outsider looking in. Try to analyze where they might be coming from to better understand what is triggering you.
We don’t have to avoid negative feelings. We can learn to process them in a more objective way.
Also, remind yourself that the strong feelings in your body will subside.
2. Speak to yourself about your positive qualities to help build your confidence.
Give yourself positive affirmations. For example, you may say to yourself, “I like to help others, I am empathetic, and I am a good listener.”
It is harder to be down on yourself about someone else’s opinion of you, when you pay attention to and believe in the positive traits you encompass.
What other people say will never take these traits away from or change who you are, and just because they said it, doesn’t make it true.
What are your strengths? What makes you such a good person that it is hard to be down about the negative stuff?
Look at the list below. I am sure you can find at least five things that show you how great you are.
3. Have compassion for yourself and be there for yourself.
What would you tell a friend who just got insulted and felt upset?
It is likely that you would empathize with their feelings, let them know the other person’s opinion didn’t matter, say something nice to them, etc.
You should treat yourself the same way. Even if you have to talk to yourself in your mind. Remind yourself that another person treating you poorly has to do with them, and not you.
4. Remind yourself that the person making the insulting remarks needs to work on their communication.
When someone we don’t know very well makes an insulting remark, we can remind ourselves that they may not have the best communication skills.
However, if this person insulting you is in your life regularly, you communicate about the insults, and they don’t stop, it is best to separate yourself from that person.
It is not healthy to be around someone who is insulting you regularly. You should surround yourself with people who treat you with dignity and respect.
If you don’t have anyone like that in your life, pursue your interests and passions. You will meet others with common interests to make connections with.
5. Remember that when we are in social situations, there is a risk of getting insulted.
Insulting or insensitive remarks, unfortunately are a common occurrence when people gather and share thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
Unless you stay alone, there is really no way to avoid them.
You can’t please everyone, and there will always be someone with something negative to say. Remind yourself that it is a part of life. It happened before, and it will happen again.
In otherwards, accept the fact that someone was unkind, to decrease the impact and shock of the insult.
6. Set small goals for yourself.
Notice how long you are feeling down after an insult. Let’s say it is six hours. See if you can shorten that time by following the strategies in this article.
Set a goal for five hours next time. Also, set a goal to be mindful when insults occur by paying attention to how your body responds and allowing yourself to process those feelings.
Education and Behavior – Keeping us on the Same Page for Kids!
Rachel Wise is the author and founder of Education and Behavior. Rachel created Education and Behavior in 2014 for adults to have an easy way to access research-based information to support children in the areas of learning, behavior, and social-emotional development. As a survivor of abuse, neglect, and bullying, Rachel slipped through the cracks of her school and community. Education and Behavior hopes to play a role in preventing that from happening to other children. Rachel is also the author of Building Confidence and Improving Behavior in Children: A Guide for Parents and Teachers.
“Children do best when there is consistency within and across settings (i.e., home, school, community). Education and Behavior allows us to maintain that consistency.”